Thursday, May 10, 2012

Do we dare to dream?

This hasn't been easy. It hasn't been easy to maintain this blog. It hasn't been easy to pay down our debts. It hasn't been easy to keep our heads above water and our spirits high. It hasn't been easy to prepare for a new baby, adequately care for our children, find a housing arrangement we can afford/want to live in, and keep focused on our goals. Right now it feels like we'll never make it below the $60k mark and we'll always been stuck in the rat's maze of lost hopes.

Our dreams have taken a beating this year. June-to-June has been one of the most difficult times of our married lives, and it has certainly the hardest strain on us financially. The dream of paying down our debt in two years is now three years old and the current estimated date is another ten years away. Our dreams of traveling across the country, celebrating the freedom we have worked so hard to achieve seem faint compared to the monthly expenses and difficulties of weekly and monthly expenses. There are days when we don't even dare to dream because the passion of those dreams is so quickly extinguished. Do we even dare to dream anymore? Do we even dare to make plans, follow baby steps, walk through the ritual of the monthly budget only to find that we don't have enough money to pay our bills? What happened to intensity? What happened to our dreams?

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